comics, or something
I have over time spent a lot of time talking to straight men who are partnered with bisexual women or prefer bi women over straight women and want to tell me about it. I do not want to get into what these conversations generally look like or how they make me feel. Instead, here are some things I wish I ever heard straight men who are involved with bi/pan/queer women would say or concern themselves with.
We live in a culture that privileges men over women and heterosexuality over other sexual orientations. What parts of this culture’s programming around privilege have I picked up? What expectations am I bringing to this interaction?
How does my relative privilege as a man and as a heterosexual impact this situation? What power dynamics are created or reinforced?
What does it mean for me to have a relationship with someone who is not identified as a heterosexual?
What pressures is our culture putting on her to blend in with heterosexual norms?
How does sexism interact with homophobia and biphobia?
What does it mean for her to be involved with a man in a culture that values this relationship more highly that it would value a similar relationship that she could have with a woman?
How do I support her visibility?
How do I identify and address homophobia and heterosexism in other environments that I am in, or that she may be in? Family, coworkers, friends? How do I help transform these environments into spaces that are safe and comfortable?
How can I be proactive about these issues and not wait for her to tell me that she is uncomfortable?
What does it mean for her that I expect to be able to talk to her about my interests in other women, and for her to share this with me, but that I cannot relate to her interests in other men?
How do I approach her sexuality in a way that is respectful and not exoticizing or fetishizing, and also not heterosexist?
How do I show respect for that I may not be welcome in some spaces because I am not queer?
What are constructive ways for me to be an ally to her and to other people who are not heterosexual?
What issues may she be facing from within the larger queer community, and how do I support her in dealing with them without entering a space that is designated as queer-only?
How do I become a part of my partner’s queer life while respecting that I am an ally rather than a community member?
How do I network with other allies?@1 day ago with 3 notes
cishet people be like NOOO U CANT USE THAT TERM TO DESCRIBE UR SEXUALITY/GENDER ITS MADE UP WORD!!! and then turn around and make up ridiculous terms like mancrush and guyliner and man-purse in order to keep their precious hetronormitive gender roles intact
(via queersrule)@1 week ago with 22828 notes